Friday, January 30, 2015

I want to be like Abraham

It is easiest when I get assigned to the same hall at work several days in a row.  You become familiar with what's going on with each of the patients.  Really it just helps you better care for everyone... you know things to be watching out for, you.  Because I am newer though, I don't have the luxury of always being assigned to the same hall.  Instead I just take the hall that's left, depending on who else is working.  So I'm always jumping around.  However recently, I was on the same hall for a whole week straight because the lady who normally takes that hall had been filling in the office as a manager.  And it was sooo nice.  Especially since that particular hall was probably the easiest hall to be assigned.

The other day the lady that normally will work that hall was back on the floor for a day.  But the scheduler still put me on the same hall that I had been on.  Considering that I had been working with that group of patients for the last four days and would be working with them again... it made sense not to switch me to another hall for just one day.  

But even though this was the case, I knew that the lady would not want to work a different hall.  Even though she had been to assigned to a different hall and she knew that I had been working her hall for a while and that she was just filling in for a day.  

Sure enough after I showed up, she asked me what hall I wanted to take.  This, of course, means that she did not work the hall she was assigned.  And being the people pleasing, and non-assertive person that I can be... I said... Oh whatever.  I'm fine with working either hall.  Even though, inside, I really wanted to work the hall that I had been on.  So she went ahead and took the hall that she wanted and gave me the one that had substantially more patients and generally speaking was much more complicated and taxing.  

However, as the day went on I was surprised by how smooth it was going.  I was working with one of my favorite cna's... a very hardworking and kind girl.  I felt like the Lord was blessing the fruit of my labor.  I was working my butt off... but I didn't fell overwhelmed.  On the other hand, the hall that I had been on was getting a little crazy.  The other nurse was exhausted and overwhelmed.  Even though that hall was considered the "easy" hall at that point... things just weren't going smooth.

The Lord brought to my mind the story of Abraham and Lot.  When looking at the land before them, Abraham let lot choose what land he would take first.  And Lot took the land that seemed to be the best deal.  It was green and fertile and the most promising for a blessed life.  And Abraham took the other dry land. 

And it made me realize that I want to be Abraham.  I don't want to live a self-serving life.  I don't want to do things just because they look like they will be most beneficial for me. I want to choose to not take the better things for myself.  I want to choose to give the better things for others, knowing that the Lord is with me and will take care of me.

Even though I didn't take the better for myself in this circumstance... I don't like how I didn't take it.  I let the other lady choose just because I don't like conflict and like to please people.  I didn't let the other lady choose because I wanted her to take the better thing for herself.  Because deep down instead, I did indeed want the hall that she took.  I want to let others choose first of out of character not out of my sinful tendency to want people to like me.

The Lord blessed me.  Because even though I didn't have the right mindset at first, the Lord taught me to have to have the right mindset.  And was still with me and blessed my work.  Thank you Lord for your mercies. 

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